Phantasmic Coitus Interruptus!

What a wonderful dream.
What a terrible ending to it.

In my actual dream last night, an old ex-girlfriend and I were laying naked in bed. I don't think that anything had happened between us, yet. But I was absolutely ready for it to. Naked? In my bed? We weren't there to balance our checkbooks, sister.

She was snuggled up against me, resting her head on my right arm. Our legs were entwined. Her short, brown hair was soft against my skin. There was a fine sheen of sweat over us both. We'd been there, like that, for a while now. My hand rested lovingly on the soft, firmness of her right hip. I gently pulled her closer to me.

I think we were kissing. Or had just kissed. Or were going to kiss. Kissing was somehow involved.

We were laying in bed, talking. Post and possibly pre coitus. A relaxing time and place to be.

Somehow, she understood what I was mentally asking of her (but not being such a goon as to directly ask for it) and she leaned up on her left arm, pleasantly surprised by the mere suggestion of it. She looked at me with a Devil's Smile and bit her lip slightly, imagining the sensations that were forthcoming.

In one graceful move, she slid from beside me to on top of me, laying low, our faces pressed together in a deep, long, soulful kiss. I stole a look down and caught a brief glimpse of her womanly parts swaying as she settled into place, her legs straddling me. I looked back up into her eyes, weak with naked desire and she smiled, lovingly. "Don't worry," she seemed to say, "It's going to happen. Right now. I want it too."

There was no doubt in my mind that we were about to have really intense, wonderful sex. One of those afternoon sessions where your faces are surreally close to each other and you whisper things to each other, that can only be heard because of the close proximity. It was going to be slow, elegant and graceful at first and when the pressure from the movement became too much for me, it was going to get a little bit wild and then fantastic, glorious, celebratory orgasms for everyone!

I knew this was coming and I soooooooo looked forward to it.

And it was at this precise moment, when my former girlfriend, who visits me now only in my dreams, was about to reach down and initiate actual docking procedures, that my dog, Maggie, in the real world, decided that she wanted to get out of bed and hop down on the floor for a vigorous ear scratching.

To get there, she clambered over me and used my chest and stomach as a springboard, delicately jumping down onto the floor. 35 pounds of clumsy dog, jumping off of me, like a punch to the gut.

Panicked, I immediately woke up, sitting bolt upright in bed.

"What?!? What happened? Who is it?" and then I saw Maggie looking back up at me, confused, and I knew what had happened and instantly remembered what I'd just lost, in my dream. What was about to happen, but was forever lost. Because I was now completely awake. "Maggie! No! Bad dog! Agh! Goddammit!"

I grabbed my pillows and shoved my head back onto them in an angry, forced state of willful relaxation and tried desperately to get back to sleep and into the dream that I'd just left. Eventually I did fall asleep again and I did dream, but it was a mundane dream of something absolutely non-sexual, like returning books to the library. I could not hide my obvious disappointment from the other characters in my new dream.

True Story.

I thought, as I walked Maggie out back for a morning pee and poop, that I would have to blog about this disaster, when I got to work today.

So close.
Yet so far away.

Going back to sleep,
Mr.B